Resources for Reflection
The following are some readings & reflections to provide you with inspiration for your growth and healing.
On Grief & Healing
"Pain becomes bearable when we are able to trust that it won't last forever, not when we pretend that it doesn't exist."
— Alla Bozarth-Campbell
God offers us, in our relationsnips, the perfect opportunities for maximal learning, but whether or not we choose to take advantage of those opportunities is completely up to us. If there is no sacred environment for the issues that emerge, unconsciousness-and ultimately pain-will dominate our interactions.
It's helpful to remember that she's known as much pain as you have known, he's as scared as you are, and no one here is perfect. When both people know that, in a conscious moment of shared compassion, our hearts are open. We can turn this deeper acceptance of each other into a disciplined compassion. Until we do that, we will always be tempted to attack, and whenever we attack one another, we are attacking ourselves. I remember saying to someone once, "To attack me is to attack us."
There is, inside all our heads, the ego's rabid attack dog. It is purely vicious toward others and toward ourselves as well. Learning to control that dog, and ultimately to end its life, is the process and purpose of enlightened relationships. - Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationship s, by Marianne Williamson
On Marriage and Dating
Leo Buscaglia, in his book, Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships , asks respondents to define a loving relationship. Here are a few I find to be thought provoking:
2— "A loving relationship is one in which there is a mutual caring about the growth and progress of each, where possessiveness gives way to offering the other to be his/her own person, where selfishness gives way to selfless giving, sharing and caring, where the lines of communication are kept open, where the good in each is maximized, the bad minimized."
3— "A loving relationship is one in which individuals trust each other enough to become vunerable, secure that the other person won't take advantage. It neither exploits nor takes the other for granted. It involves much communication, much sharing, and much tenderness."